"There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion." -Sir Frances Bacon

When I was thirteen, my father carefully looked at me one morning (I suspect he was in a bit of a mood) and said: "You know, by the time you reach 30 years old, you will be completely bald." Now this isn't the sort of thing a young, impressionable, (and vain) teenager wants to hear - ever.  My right and proper response was: "No Way!" Unfortunately, by the time I was 20, I could see that there may be some truth to this spiteful forecast and when I was 30 - well, I wasn't completely bald, but I might as well have been.  I did a bit of research and this pattern baldness (I HATE that name) supposedly comes from my mother side except my Grandfather is 92 and has the most amazingly thick head of white hair I have ever seen (so does my brother... and no, I not all that bitter) - so what's going on... does it skip every generation?  Is it just a random genetic time-bomb that happened to go off during MY conception?  ...aah, but that is all behind me now.

Finally!  After much consultation with my hair specialist, Dr. D. Taraxacum, and a number of operations (this transplant stuff ain't no walk in the park), what you see is the permanent solution to my hair-loss problem.  There are, of course, a small list of caveats and recommendations for success; such as for the first year, it is recommended I stay away from Chicago, hair-dryers, and people in wish-making moods - but that seems to me a pretty small price to pay.

Tell me what you think - do I look twenty-two again?  I gotta tell you, it is so nice to be able to walk the street with my head held high and not have to suffer the pitying looks or chuckles of derision from the youth-of-today.  

Thank you, Dr. Taraxacum.  If there are others out there like me (and I know there are...) - despair not!  Email me and I will get you in touch with Dr. T.  His technique of scalp preparation and then transplant will work for you too.  Now my only concern is will I be able to convince Penny that she has nothing to worry about what with all the glances and interest I'll be getting from young women everywhere...  

I am a new man!   Cheers to you all!